In our How I Manage My Childcare series we find out how people across the UK handle the logistics and cost of having children. This week we speak to Natalie Ford, 39, an executive assistant at an investment bank living in Shenfield, Essex, with her husband and son
Children:
18-month-old son
Set up:
Natalie and her husband work full-time and own a two-bed house in Essex
Childcare:
Son in nursery three days a week, and looked after by Natalie’s mother two days a week – this costs between £850 and £1,00 per month
I knew on my maternity leave that I’d want to go back to work when it ended, because I love my job. Also, I’m the higher earner out of me and my husband and neither of us wanted to take ourselves out of the workplace because at some point when our son goes to school, then we’ve been out of work for how many years and it’s hard to get back in.
I looked at working locally instead of London, so I could be at home a bit more, but the money that those jobs were paying was just a joke, and they wouldn’t have been worth me doing.
Before I went back, I did try and ask about flexible working, but because my role is a supportive role within the office, they want me there so it wasn’t something that they were able to to do, unfortunately. But I am able to work from home so I’m grateful for that. Whenever I need to be there for my son – if I need to be leave early – they’re very flexible with that. But I wasn’t allowed to go part-time, which is what I really wanted.
So I work full-time nine to five, and our son is in nursery three days a week. One of us drops him off between half seven and eight in the morning, and then if I’m working from home, I’ll pick him up at five-ish. If I’m in the office, then it’ll be more like six.
Nursery costs between £850 and £1,000 a month for three days a week. That’s a lot more than our mortgage right now and is a lot, especially with other bills and the price of food going up. We’re lucky with our two-bed house, but childcare costs mean that family holidays are pushed to the back of the priority list, and little things we’d have done like going out for dinner, we just can’t do.
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Luckily my mum, who still works, has offered to drop down from four days a week at work to three so she could help us out for two days. She’s lost a lot of a lot of income through it, although she would never say that that this was a burden or anything.
I try my best to give her money to help towards her petrol that she uses to pick him up and drop him off, and a bit of money towards food, but I have to say: “Sorry mum, this is all I can afford.” I wish I could give her more, to compensate her losing out on a day’s pay each week. She loves spending time with her grandson but doesn’t get anything out of it financially.
I’m grateful that the nursery is brilliant. We looked at childminders and it wasn’t a massive cost saving and as I’m a very wary, careful person I was thinking that if he’s in someone’s house, how will I know if they’re putting him in front of the telly all day? At the nursery, they do crafts, they go on walks and lots of activities using their imagination. He’s also spending lots of time with a mix of children, which is good, because we can’t afford another child. We’d love to have another one, but we’ve looked at the finances and with the cost of living, we can’t manage it, which is sad.
Being a working parent can be challenging. I’ve always really enjoyed my job, but I’m nine to five and then I’m done, unless there’s an emergency. A few times I’ve had to jump on the computer once he’s gone to bed. I think people can see it as a bit of excuse when you say: “I’m a new mum, I need to pick my son up from nursery and actually spend some time with him.” I had a child so that I could see him! It’s been a bit of a struggle but I’ve had to stood my ground and make it clear that I’m not skiving off because I’m leaving at five o’clock.
Finding out about the cost and logistics of childcare and how to manage that with our jobs has been a real shock. While we were trying to get pregnant, it was something that was on my mind, how we’d make it work, and I spoke to family and tried to gauge what my mum would be able to do. My husband’s mother is not very well, she’s on dialysis three times a week, so she wasn’t able to help us unfortunately. So we were kind of stuck.
We were just coming out of the end of lockdown when I had the baby, and so many nurseries were closing left, right and centre. We thought: “Oh my god, what do we do?” The cost was also a real eye-opener because it’s not something that as a prospective parent you’d really know the details of.
The government needs to properly subsidise and help working parents. It’s not right that women are pushed out of the workplace because they can’t afford childcare. More women would be contributing towards the economy with their tax and National Insurance. They’d be contributing towards the country and going out and spending their money if they were able to go out to work, and worry less about the shocking cost of childcare.