In our new weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the Money Moral Maze.
Are your friends racking up big drinks tabs and then trying to split the bill equally, is your partner spending overspending on your joint account? No matter your dilemma, email in anonymously, and i‘s money and business team will do our best to answer.
This week’s dilemma can be found below – email us at money@inews.co.uk with yours.
The Dilemma
Me and my partner have just got a mortgage on our first house together. The cost is £2,000 per month, which is a little more than we expected, but it’s comfortable with our salaries.
We aren’t married – though we plan to get engaged later this year – and don’t yet have a joint bank account. Before this, we’ve generally kept our finances quite separate, but obviously that becomes quite difficult once you have a mortgage together.
He earns 60k and I earn 50k, and my view is that I should pay a little less towards the mortgage to reflect that, but he thinks we should split the costs 50-50, as we do with everything else. Who is in the right?
Callum Mason, i money and business reporter argues the case for ‘You should split the costs according to your salaries’
This is a very difficult dilemma and I can very much understand both perspectives. Ultimately, you can only come to a conclusion together, as only as a couple do you understand your full circumstances.
I would be inclined to agree with you, that you should split the costs according to salary. I understand that you don’t have linked finances, but by entering into a mortgage together, your money does inevitably become intertwined, as you own an asset, and share debt together.
Of course, you may also bring other things to this asset other than purely financial elements. Perhaps you’re better at home improvements, DIY, or upkeep? Do you do more in terms of admin for your household? These things aren’t quantifiable but it’s unlikely they’re split exactly equally.
It would make sense – especially as the gap isn’t great between what you earn – to share that according to what you can afford.
Grace Gausden, i deputy money editor, argues the case for ‘You should split the costs equally’
In this scenario, I don’t think there is a hard and fast right and wrong answer as it will totally depend on you as a couple.
I can understand wanting to split by salary, as you may feel out of pocket, but often splitting a bill this important 50-50 can be beneficial for your relationship.
This is because you will both be equal in your “ownership” of the home i.e. if there are any disagreements about decorating or renovation, for example, there is no chance of one person saying “I pay more therefore I have the final say”.
Equally if the worst comes to the worst and for any reason you split, there can be no argument for someone demanding backdated funds for paying more.
Aside from that, your salaries could change in the future and you may end up earning more in which case it would be equal – or nearabout – anyway.
Ultimately, it is your decision but it is nice to feel that you are on an equal footing with your partner, whether or not they earn a bit more.
If the roles were reversed and you were earning more, perhaps you would also want to split the bills 50-50.